Thursday, November 29, 2012


Do anyone over here believes in miracle?

I faced the reality, I tried to settle what have been bugging me all the while. Which means, I texted her..

You can stop liking or loving some one, but why would you want to stop some one from loving you? I don't get it. She stopped me from loving her....
She even stated that we aren't fated to be together, so I said I would wait..... She pleaded for me not to wait, as I might get hurt if she didn't choose me. That's the point of waiting, I did not expect you to accept me immediately, but I will wait, till the day where MIRACLE would actually happen.

So the question and dilemma here is, do miracle actually happen? I personally do not believe in miracle, but at this point, I AM ACTUALLY HOPING THAT MIRACLE WOULD HAPPEN.

Yes... I am that desperate.

I tried to forget, to let go even to an extent that I tried to hate her, but the feeling gets stronger on every attempt. That feeling almost drove me to doing stupid things. Fighting that feeling kills me.

If you are reading this........

I will wait. No matter what or how. Even if this leads to a point of no return. Just give me an opportunity to try.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to piss you off.

Whatever it is, what I'm feeling right now is beyond word's description. Well, this song over here, one of my all time favourites, best describe my feeling.

John Cheng
Something struck me so hard that I've decided to blog again.
I signed in to blogger and it took me half an hour to figure out my user name and password. Eventually I got through and I actually read the last post on my blog. Nearly three years ago, and I was still studying in INTI at that moment.
A lot has happened since then. I stopped studying in INTI for some reasons, I almost got into BIG trouble, I almost got to the wrong turning which might affect my life dearly, probably would have cost me my life i reckon.
I came back to Ipoh, and enrolled in this place called Olympia College Ipoh. The thought of being stuck in Ipoh for at least two years irritates me. I hate staying in Ipoh, I want my freedom!!!

Now it has been almost two years studying in Olympia College. I find it quite an interesting place (the good way and the bad way). I went through a lot these two years, changed a lot. Most of all, I found the interest to study again.

Currently, I'm facing some problems, which is also the sole cause that I decided to blog again. Problems that even I myself do not know how to describe. This feeling of reluctance is seriously disturbing me.

Sometime I wonder, how can someone change from a person to another also immediately?
This moment she is texting you happily, asking you out for food and so, next moment she is as cold as a block of ice (literally). Says her that she is not ready for a new relationship, and for the "coldness" she replied "I was lazy to text". Well, nuff said.......

The worst part, she is now going out with another guy. Well, if you don't like me, tell me straight in the face. I know you are not ready for a relationship, but I did not pester you to be in one. "We should stay at friends", I know, but why are you showing me faces.

If I have done anything or said anything which might have offended you, I sincerely apologize. If whatever I wrote offends you, I apologize. I really love you. Frankly speaking, I've never felt anything like that towards a girl before. What can I do to prove my love? Don't accept me? Never mind, but can we still be frens??

John Cheng